For those who don't know, PeskyBrain is based on a quote from the videogame Psychonauts. And when looking up quotes from Psychonauts, I found that while everyone liked Vernon's rambling stories, no one had anything up for his scary story monologue. So here is the marvellous narrative work of our favorite storyteller.
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Did you ladies know one of the bloodiest battles of the Civil War was fought on the shore of this very lake? Yep. It’s true. It happened when this place was still an Indian summer camp and burial ground. A group of Union soldiers got separated from their regiment. Night was falling and they were cold. And scared.
Of Dracula!
Boo! Um, I’m kidding. They were just terrified of getting shot. Though I’m sure any of them with any sense were afraid of Dracula too.
They stumbled across an old building. You can still see it from the far side of the lake. So they decided to spend the night there. Little did they know it was… an abandoned Indian insane asylum, built on a caveman burial ground. Yup. Little did they also know that a cursed fish lived in the asylum and that he was an escaped lunatic, but from a different asylum. So even though he was actually living in an asylum he was still counted as “escaped.”
And what was his curse, you ask? Where his gills should have been…
He.
Had.
HOOKS!
Yup. And where one of the hooks should have been, there was a lung. Yup. A lung. And instead of being about 14 inches long, he was ten feet tall.
But the wasn’t the scariest thing. The scariest thing, the absolute scariest thing, that still makes the old timers blood turn to ice, and vice-a-versa, is the part I said first about how he had hooks for gills. Oh brr.
Uh… anybody need a hug?
Anybody?